it is so hard sometimes to place yourself in the mindset that people don't always feel the same way that you do. You put up all these defenses so as not to get hurt, you recoil whenever you feel afraid, but right at the moment you start to feel comfortable and safe the people you love and cherish are the ones who give you the most painful hurts.

it sucks to know that you would pour out everything for the wellbeing of those you care for and these actions are met with disgust and malice. it hurts to hear words of scorn and anger when all you want to do is help. I just don't know why i should care. why should i place myself in these stupid situations where i am vulnerable to being hurt. i think sometimes that everytime i feel sucky it is just telling me na useless lang mga ginagawa ko for people. i have to realize also that if i don't also love myself who else will. i know that other people will always be ther...as they say...but in the end you will always be alone. people will have more important things to do, have more important people to be with...and what hurts is more people they care about more than you. ah why the hell should i care what people feel and do...it is none of my business anyway...why the hell should i care if people are sad or happy...if i could be of any help...if there is something i could give of myself to make them feel better of help them. why the hell should i care... well because i am really like this and i do care...so i will just keep on doing it because i know it is right. but one thing i should learn to care about is myself. and realize that not everyone cares as much as i do...shit.

ANG SAYA NG PUNTA FUEGO!!! ang daming puwedeng gawin...

we left last sunday at 7 a.m. the night before pa lang di na ako makatulog sa saya ...so mga 2 hours lang ako natulog...hehehe...4 gising na ako...by nine nsas terazas na kami. ang ganda ng beach doon. as in puti ang buhangin at maliwanag ang tubig...hehe ang lalim...The cabañas were sooo nice and i was able to lie down in it for a while...i swam for a while then my dad agreed (at long last) for me to jet sky...i went into the cove and went to far out to sea that no one on the shore could see me. when i was there i just stoped and basked myself in the grandeure of the great wide ocean...nagpaka senti ako sa gitna ng dagat...mwuhahaha!!! ang saya tapos pag balik ko sa beach pinagsabihan ako ng dad ko dahil di na daw ako nakita ng jetsky guys so nag worry sila...hehe longs story..tapos i went na to the peninsula to check-in the room. there i got a massage...ang sarap...hehehe... but the thing that stole the show was that i went scuba diving with my mom...I LOVE THE OCEAN!!! many things i saw there i only saw in my T.V. screen...huwow...basta ang saya...yun na lang muna...next post ko just about the beautipul ocean...:)

Ang saya ng araw na toh...i have been very driven all through out the summer i have so many goals for myself.

1)lose weight...

2)get better (much, much, much better) at the piano...

3)read more...and

4)be productive...

today i was able to add up to all of my goals. I woke up so late today. mga 10:30 na so i was off schedule but i made due with the time i had. I went to the gym before lunch. I am trying to increase my endurance level and be able to lose some of the "little" excess weight. This is not really what made the day so fun. I had my first piano lesson with Bianong...ang galing niya. I learned so much from him that i never knew before... I did that for 2 hours pero nainspire ako kaya i did an extra 2 hours pa at home...nerd na ako...:) astig ng day na toh...i am planning to dedicate my day tomorrow to gym and piano...but i never forget about AMERICAN Idol...hindi ba obvious na adict ako...hehe...GO GIRLS!!! ang galing nila...and for those who don't watch...the theme was songs that were mede in their year of birth...ADICT KA MIK!!! ;P

this is my first post on my blog...ang labo nga ng site ko eh. puro na lang AI...people think it is a wast of time pero i know it is what i love spending my time on. I am really passionate for my music...as you can see. I have been so obsessed with my jobs that i have been stuck to my iPod. Piano. Music sheets and anything that is related. I have been contacting as many people to teach me the ropes.

Today Gian arrived at my house and i was surprised to see him trying to wake me up...ang kulit talaga niya...hehe...I was super hiya, di pa ko nakaligo...so after we ended up goin' to Kamerori for lunch...and Ice Monster.  we made our usuall jaming session and kwentuhan (bs) hehe...my pamankins came and we had so much fun swimming...daming nangyari... hehe... next time ulit :)