it is so hard sometimes to place yourself in the mindset that people don't always feel the same way that you do. You put up all these defenses so as not to get hurt, you recoil whenever you feel afraid, but right at the moment you start to feel comfortable and safe the people you love and cherish are the ones who give you the most painful hurts.

it sucks to know that you would pour out everything for the wellbeing of those you care for and these actions are met with disgust and malice. it hurts to hear words of scorn and anger when all you want to do is help. I just don't know why i should care. why should i place myself in these stupid situations where i am vulnerable to being hurt. i think sometimes that everytime i feel sucky it is just telling me na useless lang mga ginagawa ko for people. i have to realize also that if i don't also love myself who else will. i know that other people will always be ther...as they say...but in the end you will always be alone. people will have more important things to do, have more important people to be with...and what hurts is more people they care about more than you. ah why the hell should i care what people feel and do...it is none of my business anyway...why the hell should i care if people are sad or happy...if i could be of any help...if there is something i could give of myself to make them feel better of help them. why the hell should i care... well because i am really like this and i do care...so i will just keep on doing it because i know it is right. but one thing i should learn to care about is myself. and realize that not everyone cares as much as i do...shit.